August Flying Monkey Newsletter

The August edition of the Flying Monkey Newsletter is now available on my website:

Flying Monkey Newsletter: August 1, 2016

This edition deals with the false assertion that protectively separating the child from the psychologically abusive pathogenic parenting of the allied narcissistic/(borderline) parent is not “standard of practice” in professional psychology.

This line of argument comes from the Garnderian PAS model and is not applicable to an attachment-based reformulation of the pathology (AB-PA).

Diagnosis guides treatment.

Pathogenic parenting that is creating significant developmental pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 1), personality pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 2), and delusional-psychiatric pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 3), in order to meet the emotional and psychological needs of the parent represents a DSM-5 diagnosis of V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse, Confirmed.

In all cases of child abuse – physical child abuse, sexual child abuse, and psychological child abuse – the standard of practice is to protectively separate the child from the abusive parent.  We never abandon a child to an abusive parent.  The standard of care is to protectively separate the child from a physically abusive parent.  The standard of care is to protectively separate the child from a sexually abusive parent.  The standard of care is to protectively separate the child from a psychologically abusive parent.

This is called a “duty to protect.”

Notice in this diagnostic formulation, the construct of “parental alienation” is not used.  Pathogenic parenting.  The focus is entirely on the child’s symptoms, using accepted symptom indicators in professional psychology – NOT a set of unique diagnostic indicators as proposed by Gardnerian PAS.

When we remain grounded in the Foundations of fully established – scientifically validated – and fully accepted psychological principles and constructs, this leads to an accurate DSM-5 diagnosis of the pathology, and diagnosis guides treatment.  This is how professional psychology is supposed to work.

Gardner took everyone off track when he proposed a new form of pathology – a new syndrome – instead of applying the professional rigor necessary to diagnose the nature of the pathology using standard and established, scientifically validated constructs and principles.  An attachment-based model of the pathology corrects this error and reestablishes the discussion on the firm Foundations of established and accepted – scientifically validated – constructs and principles.

Assessment leads to diagnosis.

Diagnosis guides treatment.

That’s how things are supposed to work.

Pathogenic parenting that is creating significant developmental pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 1), personality pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 2), and delusional-psychiatric pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 3) in order to meet the emotional and psychological needs of the parent represents a DSM-5 diagnosis of V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse, Confirmed.

Diagnostic Checklist for Pathogenic Parenting

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857

12 thoughts on “August Flying Monkey Newsletter”

  1. My assertion is that separating anyone is a bad idea for all. We have to live in this world with all kinds of people. Counseling for everyone for closure is possible, essential and the right thing to do. Promoting professionals in this area is necessary and the right thing to do.
    Thoughts?
    Words from the pa graveyard. 🤓🐶🐾

    1. I disagree. From experience, as a child of such a pathogenic parent, and now, myself a targeted parent whose pathogenic parent and my child’s other parent have both engaged in behaviors that resulted in my child showing these traits described here – I believe the concept of Low Contact would best apply as a general guideline before No Contact, warranted by close observation in therapy as to the ongoing impact of the psychologically abusive parent.
      I instituted No Contact with my abusive parent on my own before knowing of such a thing, but it took too many years before I learned what was likely the truth about my targeted parent having only been a victim of her venom. Having No Contact with my abusive parent has been the best decision for my mental health and healing. I would urge professionals be trained in the damage that even Low Contact with a severely psychologically abusive parent can cause.
      To simply view our most formative bonds we exercise no choice in inheriting, as training for real life, completely overlooks the nature and severity of psychological abuse. It’s a horror to say that a child victimized by criminal abuse acts should be expected to remain in contact with the perpetrator. The fact that predatory people become parents and select methods of abuse more effectice in concealing their activity, really does not absolve the level of criminal mentality utilized by them just for lack of direct physical medical evidence of harm.
      Colloquially referred to as Brainwashing, Mind Control, NLP, etc…consider how it would feel to later realize that everything you’d been told about yourself and your life was a lie…which is why the phrase “Death by A Thousand Cuts” sums it up in my view.
      I’m lucky to be alive and I attribute that to accepting homelessness at age 16 just to escape and have No Contact. The healing I did mostly myself, for lack of $ but also lack of professional awareness when seeking help/therapy. It’s been 30 years now.

    2. To be clear, the period of protective separation is only for as long as is necessary to allow therapy to restore and stabilize the normal-range functioning of the child’s attachment bonding motivations toward the normal-range and affectionally available parent. This is typically about 90 days. The reasons for the protective separation are, 1) to ensure the child’s protection and healthy emotional and psychological development, and 2) to prevent the child from becoming a “psychological battleground” between the goals of therapy to restore the child’s normal-range development and the goals of the pathogenic parent to create and maintain the child’s pathology.

      Once the child’s normal-range attachment bonding motivation has been restored and stabilized (typically about 90 days with appropriate therapy), then the child is reintroduced to the pathogenic parenting of the formerly allied parent with appropriate treatment monitoring to ensure that the child doesn’t relapse when the pathogenic parenting of the formerly allied narcissistic/(borderline) parent is restored.

      I have worked in the foster care system. Even in cases of physical child abuse the Department of Children’s Services seeks, as appropriate and warranted, the restoration of the child’s relationship with the formerly abusive parent. When possible, and it is not always possible, but when possible, it is in the child’s best interests to have a positive and bonded relationship with both parents. Children love both parents. That’s just the way the attachment system works. And children deserve to receive the love of both parents in return. A period of protective separation is temporary, and the goal is always the restoration of the child’s relationship with both parents.

      Craig Childress, Psy.D.
      Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857

    3. Well, in our children’s case the child “is” removed psychologically then physically by the alienating parent anyway. Dr C. Gives us a chance to authenticly bond w the children by giving the targeted parent, parenting time without psychological influence of the other parent. The “only”time I saw my kids was at there games… And even then they would run to their mom. I was never notified of game changes and would show up to” empty” field. No respect….sooooooo much more I chose not to re live lost time. Dr c has given me peace as my kids experience everything verbatim on diagnosis list. “I knew I wasn’t crazy…. I love my children and still estranged after 8years they are adults now…they missed so much to learn from me and me learn from them. Someday I pray for miracle.

      1. or by some miracle of G_d, everyone will get some REAL help and healing and there will be a happy ending.. Its been soo long and soo ugly long that I actually forgot about this being an option

    4. So your assertion is that protectively separating a child from a physically abusive parent is a “bad idea” because the child has to learn to “live in this world with all kinds of people”?

      So your assertion is that protectively separating the child from a sexually abusive parent is a “bad idea” because the child has to learn to “live in this world with all kinds of people”?

      Or are you simply asserting that separating the child from a psychologically abusive parent who is creating psychotic (delusional) pathology and personality disorder pathology in the child in order to meet the emotional and psychological needs of the parent – only separating the child from that form of child abuse is a bad idea?

      Should we then simply sit back and allow the pathological parent to create psychotic and personality disorder pathology in the child because the child needs to learn to “live in this world with all kinds of people”?

      Diagnosis guides treatment.

      In response to the diagnosis of child abuse, the response of the mental health system is to protectively separate the child from the abusive parent, to treat the psychological damage to the child created by the abuse, to require that the abusive parent obtain therapy to understand the cause of the prior abusive parenting practices, and then to restore the child’s relationship with the formerly abusive parent with proper safeguards and supervision to ensure that the child abuse does not reoccur upon the reintroduction of the child to the formerly abusive parent.

      The standard mental health response to child abuse is to protectively separate the child from the abusive parent.

      Pathogenic parenting that is creating significant developmental pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 1), personality disorder pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 2), and delusional-psychiatric pathology in the child (diagnostic indicator 3) in order to meet the emotional and psychological needs of the parent represents a DSM-5 diagnosis of V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse, Confirmed.

      Diagnosis guides treatment.

      Craig Childress, Psy.D.
      Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857

      1. I was targeted and accused of a nightmarish laundry list of horror. Im sure that I had a stroke and relived childhood trauma. I and my sisters were abused as children but saved from any real damage through the school systems. Divorce split the children when my father took a girlfriend who was severely abused and extremely psychologically and physically abusive and my two little sisters were left with them. That were tortured. This woman had a daughter. This daughter reached out to me at the age of 28 years old. It took her and her mother two years to separate my daughter and I and I just feel that if it were not for my city and state officials taking actions against me, our lives would be all right. There are many people like my fathers girlfriend and now her daughter manipulating through life to get what they want. I see people like this every day. Yes, I feel that we should acknowledge this so it is out in the open as in counseling with all parties present and airing the horror until it is out in the open and dealt with. As it stands now, I am the one who is accused and erased. I am caught in the middle of a war that I have no control over and theres nothing I can do about it. I feel that if the courts would have let us work the problems out in court of counseling, this would not have happened and did not happen before they got involved. If any uneducated professionals act on false accusations, we are the ones to suffer and there is no recourse. If we would have had an opportunity to work things out with educated professionals, the lies would have been exposed and dealt with just as we have done all of our lives… I hope that I am making some sense here. I feel that educated professionals in psych and/or legal could just point out the fallacies from fact. I am not and never was opposed to working toward a solution no matter how long that would take just as now, everyone broken for however long and with no help or guidance. ?
        Why would you include proven sexual child abuse? Is that what we are talking about? Nothing can be proven or disproven without oversight. I am sure that many people are accused of sexual abuse. Im actually surprised that I was not accused of this along with everything else. In my personal situation, I would like to air the lies and deal with the main issues that keep being covered up by the abusers now generationally. ? Thank you for your time and understanding. I am the woman who originally reached out to you for joining social media and posting your writings. I am not against you and I am in desperate need of family reconciliation..

      2. I am sure, as always, that after hearing the truth by all, that they would crawl back under the rock that they came out of and just leave because there would be no carcass to clean. This is hind site.. I really had not thought about the patterns of our lives in this way before but this is the way it is for me… and now my daughter..

  2. Interesting commentary – I am thankful for the analysis , Does someone know if I could get a fillable Fau fee petition form document to complete ?

  3. Waterfall,

    I can feel the rejection you felt. I too, would show up somewhere, to pick the kids up say, and they would have left with another family. No word to me, and never any recognition or apology. It was like they were chess pieces, constantly moved around to avoid me….

    Similar to dinner – I love to cook and I know I do it well. Kids always liked my cooking, until they did not. I would make dinner, and xW would “forget” and have another $60 bag of take-out for them. It seemed like the goal was to avoid anything I did that they liked. And eventually there was nothing that they liked.

    You mentioned 8 years – I am going on 7 right now. They are 17 & 20 and I have little hope that there will be any true awareness in the near term. Dr. C is spot on when pointing out the role of Guilt and Grief in extending this poison into adulthood. I see it so well now.

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