The Childress Institute

My attorney is currently in the process of establishing The Childress Institute as a non-profit 501(c)(3) which has among its goals, providing professional-level training for mental health and legal professionals in the pathology of attachment-based “parental alienation” (AB-PA).

By providing training and education seminars to mental health and legal professionals, The Childress Institute will construct the two component parts of the KEY to the family law solution; a set of AB-PA Certified mental health professionals and a set of AB-PA Knowledgeable amicus attorneys that the Court can then draw on in constructing the team of mental health and legal expertise needed to address and resolve high-conflict divorce.

The Childress Institute:  MISSION STATEMENT

To use the latest scientific knowledge in the fields of child development and the healthy neuro-development of the brain during childhood to create solutions for the social, emotional, and psychological challenges facing children and their families.

The Current Focus of The Childress Institute

Training and Certification in AB-PA:  Fostering the highest level of professional expertise in the assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of the family pathology surrounding attachment-based “parental alienation” (AB-PA) through training, education, and research.

Beginning in the fall of 2017, The Childress Institute will begin offering Basic and Advanced training and Certification seminars for mental health professionals in the family pathology of AB-PA, with the goal of creating the professional expertise necessary to resolve the attachment-related family pathology of AB-PA surrounding high-conflict divorce.

Beginning in the spring of 2018, The Childress Institute will begin offering one-day training seminars for legal professionals in AB-PA with the goal of creating a pool of AB-PA Knowledgeable amicus attorneys for the Court.

The teaming of an AB-PA Certified mental health professional with an AB-PA Knowledgeable amicus attorney is the KEY to the family law resolution of high-conflict divorce.

The goal of The Childress Institute will be to provide the Court with the required professional expertise needed to construct the mental health and legal team necessary to foundationally resolve high-conflict divorce.

If a mental health or legal professional has been through the training Certification and education seminars offered by The Childress Institute, the Court can have confidence in the professional expertise of that mental health or legal professional, and the Court can act with confidence in assembling a KEY team from among the Certified mental health professionals and Knowledgeable legal professionals available.

For Mental Health Professionals:

Basic Certification:  A two-day Basic Seminar on the foundations, assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of the attachment-related family pathology of AB-PA.

Foundations of AB-PA:  A professional-level analysis and description of the attachment-related origins of the pathology, the personality disorder origins of the pathology, and the family systems origins of the pathology.

Diagnosis of AB-PA:  A professional-level description and analysis of the three diagnostic indicators of AB-PA and the 12 Associated Clinical Signs, as well as the diagnostic indicators of authentic versus inauthentic parent-child conflict and the symptom indicators of a cross-generational coalition creating the child’s symptoms.

Assessment of AB-PA:  Professional-level instruction in conducting a six- to eight-session Treatment-Focused Assessment protocol, with descriptions of key lines of clinical assessment inquiry during the three phases of the Treatment-Focused Assessment protocol.  Training in data-driven documentation and report writing for the Court, and data-driven diagnostic and treatment-related decision-making.

Treatment of AB-PA:  Professional-level description of treatment-related approaches to restoring the child’s normal-range attachment bonding motivations, including professional-level instruction in constructing and managing variations of a Strategic family systems intervention that can potentially release the child from the loyalty conflict without the need for a protective separation period.  Basic Certification also includes a professional-level discussion of data-driven decision-making in treatment, and the development of a Single-Case ABA design for assessment and remedy.  An introduction to collaborating with High Road augmented recovery will also be provided.

Professional Consultation:  Basic Certification in AB-PA through The Childress Institute programs provided in Southern California also include four hours of post-seminar professional case consultation with Dr. Childress.

Advanced Certification:  Advanced Certification in AB-PA includes an additional one-day Advanced Seminar for Expert Certification in AB-PA.  This advanced seminar more fully examines the damaged information structures of the attachment system that create the themes of AB-PA as manifesting in the expression of the personality and family systems pathology.  Prior completion of Basic AB-PA Certification is required.  An additional two hours of post-seminar professional case consultation with Dr. Childress is included with Advanced Certification.

For Legal Professionals

AB-PA for Legal Professionals is a one-day seminar designed to provide education training for legal professionals in working collaboratively with the AB-PA Certified mental health professional during both the initial phases of treatment and across the long-term stabilization of the high-conflict family.  The content of this one-day seminar will cover mental health constructs but will not assume a prior mental health background.  An additional focus of this one-day seminar is on the Court orders that may be needed at various phases of the family’s recovery and long-term stabilization.  This will include a description of the Strategic family systems intervention that may be enacted by the AB-PA Certified mental health professional and the required Court orders to support this family systems intervention.

Future Projects of The Childress Institute

While the primary current focus of The Childress Institute will be on solving the family pathology of AB-PA, the mission of The Childress Institute is broader and more encompassing.

The goal of The Childress Institute is to achieve the highest level of professional expertise in all aspects of supporting healthy child development and resolving the social and psychological problems created by childhood trauma.

Future anticipated directions for The Childress Institute include:

The Terrorist Mind:  Developing an attachment-based understanding of the terrorist mind, pathological hatred, and fanatical extremism, with the goal of developing primary and secondary treatment-related interventions to resolve the social and psychological trauma-related pathology of terrorism and the extremism of pathological anger.

Developmentally Supportive Parenting and ADHD:  Providing education and training in developmentally supportive parenting for all parents and all families, with a special focus on providing education and training in relationship-based parenting that can effectively resolve the symptoms of attention deficits, impulsivity, and hyperactive behavior in children through non-medication relationship-based parenting approaches.

Redeveloping Education Infrastructure:  Providing leadership in developing a model for foundationally reformulating the educational approach for children in the United States away from the current 12th Century “Cathedral School” model toward a 22nd Century education model based in the scientific research on child development, the scientific research on learning, and the available advances in the full range of supportive information technology and media.

Reduction of Prison Recidivism:  Intervention-development and research into catalytic intervention models for reducing the trauma-impacted mindset that leads to recidivism in released prisoners and juvenile offenders.

Solving AB-PA in High-Conflict Divorce

The first focus of The Childress Institute is on providing the necessary training and education to the mental health and legal systems that is required to solve the attachment-related family pathology of AB-PA surrounding high-conflict divorce.

In addition to the education and training seminars offered in Southern California, contract seminars in Basic Certification in AB-PA for mental health professionals, Advanced Certification in AB-PA for mental health professionals, and training seminars in AB-PA for Legal Professionals can be arranged for other locales, organizations, and groups in coordination with The Childress Institute.

Currently, steps are underway to provide AB-PA training and Certification for mental health professionals (and possibly attorneys) in Houston, Texas on July 13th & 14th.  I’ll have more information about this potential education and training opportunity in the coming days.

Down the road, there is the potential for establishing data-driven pilot programs in various legal jurisdictions for training and Certification of KEY teams of mental health and legal professionals in collaboration with The Childress Institute for addressing high-conflict divorce and custody-related family conflict.

There are also preliminary discussions for hosting training and Certification seminars across a European tour, to establish European professional expertise in AB-PA.

As these AB-PA training and Certification processes begin to develop and move forward, if additional training of High Road facilitators is engaged through Dorcy Pruter, then High Road augmented recovery of children in high-conflict families who are evidencing AB-PA will also become more extensively available, and a comprehensive solution can be implemented.

The Future

I have only about another decade of active shelf-life on my professional career, perhaps less depending on the will of that-which-leads in calling me home.  I have been studying and working out the nature of this pathology (AB-PA) for the past 10 years.  I know this pathology.

When I leave the planet and return home to that-which-leads, I hope to leave a legacy of expert mental health professionals who can ensure that all families make a successful transition to a healthy separated family structure following divorce, and that all children are ensured their fundamental right of childhood to love both parents, and to receive the love of both parents in return.

I will rely on these expert mental health professionals to train the next generation of experts, and to lead professional psychology into a future that solves the trans-generational impact of childhood trauma.

When I embarked upon this journey to solve the family pathology of “parental alienation” I was a lone psychologist in private practice in Southern California.  We now stand at the point of solving “parental alienation” in high-conflict divorce.  The only barrier is ignorance.  The solution is simply knowledge.

My hope is that through The Childress Institute, not only will we ensure the highest caliber of professional expertise in treating children and families surrounding divorce, but also that through understanding the impact of childhood trauma we will ultimately be able to unlock the trauma-related pathology of the terrorist mind and pathological anger and that this will ultimately lead to trauma-informed interventions that resolve terrorism and the extremism of pathological anger; that we will be able to resolve the psychological-behavioral regulatory disorder of ADHD through relationship-based (not behavioral) parenting approaches, alleviating the need to medicate tens of millions of our children; that we will develop a 10-year roadmap for fundamentally restructuring the foundational infrastructure and approach to educating our children (think Kennedy’s challenge to land a man on the moon), creating a 21st century approach to education; and that we recover our children lost in the criminal justice system by creating trauma-informed interventions that effectively resolve the impact of unresolved childhood trauma.

Audacious goals.  All achievable.  I see clearly the path toward achieving each of these goals.  It’s just a matter of enacting the solution, step-by-step.  This is the mission of The Childress Institute.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857

27 thoughts on “The Childress Institute”

  1. God Bless you Dr. Childress!! Karen Eames -Hernquist 619.880.9323 Mother of alienated 17 and 15 year old children by their father, an Esquire of the Court


  2. May God provide all that is needed to propel your work and spread truth and healing across the country and beyond, so that our children and all damaged families can receive the right assistance once and for all.

  3. Woot woot! Does future plans include certification training for child advocates? In some instances, the chaos of high conflict co-parenting spill into the child’s education setting creating more irreparable harm for a child. Especially when a child is academically diagnosed with an Emotional Disturbance and has and a “more than de minimis” Individualized Education Program. The triangulation is a major hindrance to a child living a balanced life across all evirinmental setting.

    I appreciate your hard work and contributions in this pathology and resolving childhood trauma

  4. Dear Dr Childress, I am a targeted father of two boys, 13 and 15 ars old. The pathogenic parenting ob my ex spouse is going on for 6 years, und I do not haven any contact to my boys. What you describe with the AB-PA model is EXACTLY what I am observing in my case.
    I am from Germany and currently I am living in Michigan for a temorary job assignment. I have been following your work for some time and I am impressed with the clear and fundamental AB-PA model and your effort to train professionals to bring PA to an end. You have a clear plan which makes a lot of sense.
    Your work motivated me to take another attempt to have the situation of my children classified as a serious child abuse issue.
    Is there any plan to have your books translated to German language? Is there any support that I can provide to have this introduced in Germany?
    Appreciate your work.
    Best regards,

  5. In my divorce decree the judge admitted that I am the better parent, yet I was given no reunification therapy or access to my child unless she wanted it. The judge also said my desire for 50/50 parenting was unrealistic.

    If you want my decree in order to prove the point, it’s all yours.

    Also – my child is now back in my life and we have a wonderful and close relationship.

  6. In my divorce decree the judge admitted that I am the better parent, yet I was given no reunification therapy or access to my child unless she wanted it. The judge also said my desire for 50/50 parenting was unrealistic.

    If you want my decree in order to prove the point, it’s all yours.

    Also – my child is now back in my life and we have a wonderful and close relationship.

    I. Getting a notice that i already said this on this site and that’s not correct.

  7. Best wishes for quick success. I look forward to reading about milestones and challenges as this develops.

  8. Fantastic initiative of setting up this not for profit educational organisation.

    In Australia medical doctors have taken on the role to help out society in assisting with so many social and behavioural issues that become medical issues, ie smoking, obesity and domestic violence.

    From you can see that doctors in Australia see themselves as warriors in the fight of domestic violence which they see includes psychological abuse. Their aim is to have all their members educated and doing their part in the prevention, identification and response to this problem.

    Medical doctors see a unique concentration of indicators of the pathology of AB-PA. Hopefully the Childress Institute can soon develop training for medical doctors which can defend against the pathogen at an earlier stage than once children have been through a long Court process.

    The best education programs IMHO would be for educationalists so that children have some tools to defend against the pathology and bring awareness to the entire community of the scourge of AB-PA. Hopefully this is coming soon.

    Once again, fantastic initiative.

  9. As always, Dr. Childress, we are overcome with gratitude and relief. Thank you. Your mission is going to have an enormously positive impact in the family law arena and society.
    In my 17 year’s experience advocating for my daughter in the Supreme Court of British Columbia, Canada, I feel confident with the assumption that by the time most triangulated, high conflict family law situations enter the courtroom, the pathogen of AB-PA has already broken the authentic self of the child and most definitely damaged the alienated parent. High Road Protocols require time, effort and significant costs to recover and restore previously healthy attachments.

    Besides parents, guardians and grandparents, Teachers have the most contact with our children on a daily basis. In the past decade, researching AB-PA and high-conflict family disputes, I have observed that teachers tend to “side” with the custodial and/or pathological parent rather than choosing to remain neutral, support the child or involve both parents. In most of the cases I researched, including my own, the children and the targeted parent experienced prima facie discrimination and exclusion which only served to further empower the high-conflict parent and isolate the victims. Teachers and educational assistants appear to be primarily motivated by a fear of losing their employment, self-interest or ignorance when forming an alignment with the pathogenic parent. I look forward to the day when we are certified through the Childress Institute and are able to travel around to schools and communities, enlightening flying monkeys and establishing a new moral code in child protection. God be with you, Doc.

    1. I had the same experience, Lisa. The teachers/administrators/chaplain at my children’s high school have all but barred the door whenever I come around, for anything whatsoever. My e-mails are never responded to. I am given the iciest shoulder you can imagine. They never asked my side of the story, just assumed that if a child says the targeted parent is awful, that is the truth of it. I even sent the Childress blog and YouTube videos, but I never heard back. It didn’t help that my Narc ex-husband got around to everyone in our community/social circle before I had any idea what was going on. The odd thing about human beings is that they have a strong tendency to believe the first version of the story that they hear, if it comes from someone they know. They never check for evidence, or ask for the other parent’s version. They simply judge and ostracize immediately. I do not now respect my fellow man as much as I always had previously. Some people can have some pretty awful traits, though they are otherwise your regular middle-class suburban parent who co-volunteer with you for the school pot-lucks. You never know about people unless they are tested, it seems.

      1. Yes, that’s a big part of the “pathology fallout.” It is unbelievable! They are good at what they do- and most often, only the person who lived behind closed doors with them are the only ones who ever really knows. Or more accurately, finally figures it out, and that it’s truly not “you.” The BIG problem is… now “you know.” And that makes you a very, very big threat…. (but congratulations!). As any ‘exposure’ of ‘it,’ terrifies them. So the moment they realize you “know” or even are at the edge of “suspect” or may question it, or they just get a ‘hint’ of perceiving it- real or not, they step up their ‘work’ behind the scenes with allies. Before, you even have any knowledge it’s happening. By the time you finally split, Their ‘Plan B’ prep work has already been well laid & they’ve been hot at work at it, even before your split, while only giving you a face of smiles and ‘all is well’ to your face. You have no idea the sinister stuff going on behind your back. Nor do most of those next buffalo’d targets. Such thoughts, let alone actions, aren’t even near what you would ever think of doing! It’s not in your nature. The greatest shock in the whole scenario though is, not what the perpetrator is doing, because they are just operating by their ingrained, well practiced nature, but it’s the secondary trauma of how the allies act! That is a psychology all in itself. And I say, the most injurious of all. (Nothing like getting kicked again & again after you’re already down). A lesson for all of us, because we are now more aware, and should be cautious we do not become one of those same type allies in another’s life-scenario, adding insult to injury upon others. Because boy, now we know how it feels! “He is a fool who judges a matter before he hears the other side.” Proverbs. Problem is, this pathology is so complex, and so hidden/covert, who wants to take the time to listen, nor care to delve that deeply into “your” problem? Most won’t. But their is a big & growing community who does know all about this. And I can guarantee you, it’s because they too have lived it… and gone through its extremely perplexing, confusing, ever shifting, extremely destructive, continual games before they could ever even begin to figure it out.

        Teaching this needs to go mainstream, because there are so many of “them” out there, and so many unsuspecting souls (and kids) who will be so damaged & hurt by it. Some for lifetimes. This should be taught in high schools to those beginning to date. It could help prevent a lot of heartaches later on.

        The key, is to educate the ’empathic’ ones or the ‘normal rangers’ as Dr C puts it. Good luck! If they don’t yet see ‘the need’ why listen to a solution? My experience is, until there’s a “need”- or a ‘crisis,’ no one will listen! So, gotta focus on pointing people to the ‘need’ or problem first. Just like commercials do, so they can then offer the solution. Short ‘bites’ (memes, etc) repeated often…

        Bottom line. All you can do is your own ‘self-work.’ As the pathology CANNOT operate without the other side being an ignorant, trusting, empathic type. Yes, love, but learn to love with discernment! And that starts not with them, but with “you.” ‘You’ alone were/are the ‘fuel’that helped it operate, though of course, unsuspectingly. You/we were always taught love, compassion, oft-forgiveness, empathy, etc are all the best of virtues. The merry-go-round wheel takes BOTH sides acting their taken roles to keep the platform spinning round & round. You are the only one who can STOP the cycle. My thoughts and prayers are with you! And God save our children!

      2. Thank you, Dana. So nice to converse with people who know! This is my second time losing a family. I lost my family-of-origin due to NPD shunning, because I remained the family truth-teller, and now I have lost my own children. Do targets like us survive? It does not feel that way many days. And then when my communities/social circles denigrate and exclude me also, well, I walk alone in the world.

        I have never met such vicious evil as NPD. And the fact that those targeted by it are usually the sympathetic/caretaking/compassionate ones makes you want to weep forever. The better you are, the harder you get punished for goodness. I was stunned, to put it mildly, that everyone I tried to speak to after the major Narc attack acted as if my dear husband was the victim and I was the nasty perpetrator. These were people who had known me for years, as a devoted and loving mother, a huge community volunteer and giver, and someone who never said no whenever someone was in need. And then, in minutes, it seemed, I was relegated to outcast status and everyone whispered about me behind their backs. “Did you hear about that awful woman who abuses her kids?” Who….me? WHAT?!!!

        They all instantly believed the vile lies my husband was spreading. I don’t know who was more shocking, him or them. I noted that one couple in my circle seems to make a habit of false allegations themselves, which badly damaged someone else’s career at one point. I am alerted now to the fact that they may well be pathological Narcissists themselves. However, that does not solve my situation.

        Ostracism kills the soul, especially if done on a large-enough basis. As I said, and you seconded, we targets would never think to go around telling these stories because such horrible betrayals are not in our nature. Who would live that way — going around defending themselves from possible future lies told by their own spouse? So having no defence when it does happen is the Narc’s biggest source of power. My kids — when they deign to speak to me — delight in crowing about who else in the community now hates me. Life is lonely. It is just me and God these days.

      3. Well welcome to the ‘Remnant Club!’

        Rejoice! When you get there, you will have finalized the ’40 times round the mountain’ and ontoward your life purpose destiny! You MUST survive this! ‘It’ wants you dead. ‘It’ gives you no other option. ‘It’ is the diabolical spirit that operates behind the human puppet(s). It is almost ‘all seeing’ and knows you well. Especially your predictable patterns of REACTION. ‘It’ has most likely targeted you your whole life. Why? Because there’s something very special in you God put there, and He chose you to be the light He meant you to be in this world. Don’t let that evil spirit destroy you. It is in reality, scared to death of you, and what you carry! And what you can do with it once fully developed in wisdom and discernment. Why do you think it works so hard constantly to destroy you? That ‘light’ in you has been on you since the time of your birth (& even before, may I say). These things are spiritual. And spiritual things can see Spiritual things- often way before we wake up and start using that same God given sight. You were ‘chosen’ to carry it. These things I submit, are spiritual. They can ‘see’ the light these ones carry and the gifts & callings on their lives, before they themselves ever know it! Too many years have been left in ignorance, unassuming bliss, cognitive dissonance and/or not fully awake to who you are- and your great worth. But again, I say, “Congratulations!” You are coming through! On your way. Yes, these/we are ‘set apart ones.’ Yes, is often lonely. Even, very lonely… As we are people lovers, social, friendly, likable, and usually so accommodating of others. We live it, even crave it. This too, reveals something to yourself. What you esteem and value most, those virtues you carry naturally, so easily, your first nature, are not necessarily in many others. Others, spend a lifetime just feigning it. ‘Copying it. Mimicking it. But where do they get the examples to mimic? From the genuine ones! Is also why they attach themselves to- to those who truly carry the genuine. Because they don’t have it in them. All they can do is a constant temporary mimicking of it, that looks real to the untrained eye, and that takes unaware ones years to learn is exactly what it is. Because they are very good illusionists. They need you next to them to draw off your integrity to hold out to the world as also their ‘own.’ They use your integrity as if it were their own. But they themselves don’t carry it. But deep down, they are very jealous of it. They have no real identity. Other than the illusion. That’s why they’re so desperate to not lose it. Terrified beyond words actually! And will go to any length/cost to keep up appearances. A very sad and exhausting life it must be. But we too fell in love with ‘just an illusion.’ Hard pill to swallow, when you finally fully wake up and realize it. What’s that say about our discernment? Why are we selling ourselves out so cheap for just an illusion? Why did we beleive the illudiob? Are we having a self-deception problem?? A self-worth problem? Living in a fantasy? A skewed perception of reality ourselves problem?? Lying to ourselves when every seemingly ‘bad’ thing that manifests in our lives- could really be one of our greatest opportunities of missing a curtain pulled back to let you truly ‘see?’ Don’t waste them. Be thankful for them. There’s a blessing in all of it. Painful lessons yes- but they’re meant to burn off the false reality we ourselves were living in. Don’t you want to ‘graduate?’ The ‘two-edged sword’ of Life, Light, and Truth wants you to see! And grow. The first swipe of that sword is the hardest. The swipe that has to cut open the cancer so you can see it. Yrs it’s harsh and so ugly. But it’s grace. It’s not going to tell you a lie. See it for what it is. Don’t go into cognitive dissonance or curl up in a ball of reaction that a big heart always feels so deeply. It’s meant to bring you through with that rebound swipe. The side that brings you through to real Life. And Truth. Something we gotta fix! True discernment so important. But now, you are getting equipped! What you think is all bad, is meant for your good. And you are meant and purposes to pass these hard tests. On your way- FORWARD. IF, you recognize your calling, and don’t let ‘it’ take you out! The world needs ones like you! It’s what you were meant for. What you were born for! Even destined for! It’s ALL about your self-work, and passing the tests. The greatest test- the tests of your heart. What you value most and who or what you’re going to serve. ‘It’ wants to bring you down with ‘it’ at ‘its’ level. Below the snake line with ‘it.’ But you were meant to climb the mountain and make it to the top. The rest is all just distractions. In fact, in hindsight review, I’m sure you can see, that you’re a ‘builder’ and ‘it’ is one who always tore down or hindered every step you tried to take forward- and for the both of you. For your family. An absolutely perplexing thing. A house divided against itself cannot stand. So you’ve been, you were, totally neutralized. Better getting it now, than later… after 30 + years of marriage and you look back and realize you never really got anywhere. May look that way, but only on the surface. Don’t you want the genuine? The real stuff? ‘It’ cannot let you move forward. That’s it’s job. It HATES you. It’s not so much the person. It’s the evil spirit behind them. We try, try, try to even save them from it. Even save them from themselves. We even prioritized that even above our own well being. But in truth, they are in agreement with that spirit. Try they may, they just know no other way to survive. They can’t. Because they haven’t known any real identity for a long, long time. They do not know who they are, their true identity, the great calling on their own lives they abandoned or lost long ago. They sucked some of that good identity off of you- the genuine. They sucked it off of others. They have to. They have nothing on their own! This is a life and death matter to them. They cannot survive any other way. They have to “attach” to others or “attach” them to themselves in order to have something. Anything. Until that supply is no longer good. Unfortunately, they leave a trail of destruction and destroyed lives behind them. The worst of course, is when they switch their focus on the young, unlearned, most unaware, innocent, kids. They get their tentacles into them- and that spirit that sees it’s losing its grip on you, and can’t get you directly as easily anymore by an ‘inside job’, now goes to work on the ‘outside job’ – your kids, closest friends, and even your own extended family. It seeks to make the kids ‘twice the child of hell’ that they are! This makes the empath, the normal loving, genuine heart parent go wild! Because we naturally care more about others than ourselves. And these are our most beloved children! We’d die for them! We survived the abuse- only by finally waking up to see it for what it truly is, and realizing the merry-go-round will never stop. Wishful thinking… and really, our own ‘illusion’ problem. Self-work is VITAL. Recognizing, what that enemy is really trying to do, and learning how we REACT, always so predictably ourselves. You see, ‘it’s’ been studying us a long time… change the record. And it begins with you! Our deeply heartfelt emotional reactions are just what it loves. It creates a spiritual emotional frequency coming off of us without a word that ‘it’ can smell and see- and loves! In a sadistic kind of way. With pleasure, satisfaction, joy, and more fuel. We are the only ones who can stop the merry-go-round. ‘It’ never will make the move. Oh yes, it may feign it will, but it can’t. It is not in its nature. Nothing there. But an illusion. Few will ever get it, let alone see it. But you did, smart woman! May have taken you some time. Probably most of your life. But you’ve grown. Hard won, yes. And I’m sure, you too, barely made it through alive. But don’t you let it take you out. ‘It’ is the LIAR! NOT YOU! I know. I understand. ‘It’ has gone right to the core of your big heart. The smack-center of the nerve endings by targeting your precious kids. It wants to pull you down to get as ugly as it is. To operate like it does. To lose your integrity. Then, it’s won. It’s taken you out. Remember, everything at its core- is about the heart. A heart like you carry is so rare. But, one who can keep it- rarer still… through storms like these. If you lose that- that’s when you’ve really lost everything. Not when you lose your kids. But you lose that big heart, your purpose, that great gift in you put there for a purpose, for a destiny far greater than what you ever thought, and beyond this ‘season’ of your journey of life. Now comes the real tests of your heart. The ones that will get you over the ‘hump.’ Off of that mountain circling. Off of being ‘neutralized.’ The spouse is gone. They’re already off to their next victim. And beleive me, don’t really feel a thing, like you do. But you will remain ‘stuck’ and neutralized, for good if you let it. Just when you’re already so exhausted, and so done, what’s ahead of you is the ‘gate’ you must pull yourself back up off the floor and keep moving forward to, to get through to the other side. Learn quickly. Learn smart (as you already are). Don’t let it take more and more years of your life. Yes, Fight smart for your kids. Fight smarter for yourself. But don’t be surprised, that if you appear to lose them temporarily, that you don’t get back that same spirit in your house sneering, blaming, and taunting you out of the mouths of babes, that took years of your life already. We don’t just want them back in body- but back in heart. Truly growing, and seeing, and passing the tests of their hearts as well. Just know, it’s a good possibility, once the other attaching-driven parent may have already gotten to them, it will be more of the same. But, now when you’ve really done your self-work, (and that’s on-going if don’t shut it down), have grown, and operate much smarter, and not by REACTION driven instinct, you can totally take care of yourself, and protect your heart in the process, and then truly help others. Despite how those kids act, know, your genuiness, your integrity, your being the ‘bigger one’ by keeping yourself, and your heart along the way, is the best example you could ever show your kids. One day, they will truly ‘see’ it. And that will be a life-indelible message seated into them like no other lesson you could teach them- with just words. Forget the ‘friends’, even the ‘extended family’ you may have temporarily lost. You grew- they didn’t. You ‘see’, they don’t. You ‘know’, they don’t. How sad for them. You have the opportunity to graduate to the next level. They may stay stuck in kindergarten for a very, very long time. They too, are on the journey of the school of life. And because they aren’t recognizing nor ‘passing the tests’, they may be journeying around that mountain a lot more years than you had to! One day, when they too may have the opportunity of being moved onto a ‘fast-track’ like you (even if that’s considered half your life), in learning one of life’s most difficult lessons, there will be ones like you, pressed through the grinder, who passed through to the sweet smelling, priceless oil side, there, ready, already made it through to help them along with some priceless advice. But, don’t waste your precious time with those who just want your attention, but only those who want your wisdom. Otherwise, they too are nothing but time and life wasting hinderances to your calling. Not ready to hear, unable to ‘see.’ Keep your eyes on the prize- which right now may not be what you think it is… It’s farther out on the horizon then you may only now very dimly see. And pass those tests of your heart, one by one. Just pass the tests…. You will come out as one of those priceless diamonds- that are only made one way… But last forever!

      4. Wow…..that someone would take the time and make the effort to write that kind of response — I am humbled. I have just read it through twice, and will several more times. I have to let it work its way through me. May give me the wherewithal to withstand all of this another day, another week, longer? Just read Edith Eva Eger’s “The Choice” and Jordan Peterson’s “12 Rules for Life,” also. I need to know there are still decent people in this world. Not in my circles at the moment, but somewhere. Thank you so much, Dana. I cannot say anything more at the moment because I am quite stunned, in a good way this time. Bless you.

  10. Brilliant!
    Entirely therapeutic to the Special Population of AB-PA.
    As a targeted-Parent and an advocate against Domestic Violence and Parental Alienation for over 18 years, I’ve sought for and heard of many ‘solutions’, none of which addressed PA in a comprehensive way. When you are affected by something so diabolic, it is almost impossible to fully convey the magnitude of this pathology. Then came Dr. Craig Childress.
    I too add my voice to the international chorus of “Thank you, Dr. Childress”

  11. What exciting news! What a declaration! You’ve driven your stake in the ground and now proclaim, “No More!” This is all so well-thought-out. What a gift and what a legacy. Thank you – Alyson Lee, Boston

    1. Yes it is. It appears we Childri are a compassionate sort. I’ve discussed this with my attorney and he does not see a problem. Down the road, given the shared family name-background, the shared interest in children and trauma (one physical trauma one psychological trauma), and my background working at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and Children’s Hospital of Orange County, I can potentially see a possibility for collaboration. But for the moment my goal is simply to establish the training and Certification of mental health professionals in AB-PA.

      Craig Childress, Psy.D.
      Psychologist, PSY 18857

      Craig Childress, Psy.D.

  12. What if anything is being done to try and awaken the narcissistic parent??? In all the reading and research I have done on my case I have not found an effort to awaken the pathological parent. This to me seems like a worthy cause. Thank you so very much for this material. It has provided me a path to healing and recovery. I am hopeful that by building and maintaining my own mental and emotional health, I will be able to provide a path to healing for my children and my ex-spouse.

    1. At it’s foundational core, the pathology of AB-PA is a shared delusional disorder (an encapsulated persecutory delusion; google encapsulated delusion). A delusion is a fixed and false belief that is maintained despite contrary evidence – despite contrary evidence. While professional mental health should seek to increase self-insight with the narcissistic/(borderline) parent, it is highly unlikely that efforts to increase self-insight with the narcissistic/(borderline) parent will succeed. The solution must assume that the pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent will remain unchanged. We must be able to prevent the pathology of AB-PA assuming the pathology of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent will remain unchanged. If we can change it… great. But the solution to AB-PA must be a solution without anticipating any change in the narcissistic/(borderline) parent.

      Craig Childress, Psy.D.
      Psychologist, PSY 18857

    2. Because ‘awakening’ (aka ‘exposing’) the Narcopath, will NOT give you anything near the results you could ever think up in a million years- until you lived it! And, unfortunately, it is VERY dangerous. Train the empaths. The Narcopaths never ‘learn’, they just get better & more clever at what they do.

  13. Congratulations!!!This is fantastic news!!! I wish I could kiss you for all the amazing work you have accomplished, you are a gift from god. I am currently attempting to access the right kind of help for the 5 time with organisations available in England. My children are screaming out for help with self harm, abusing themselves, me and the dog. Showing all the signs of psychological emeshment with the pathogen. I was totally alienaited by my youngest a couple of weeks ago who was coerced into calling his new wife mum and also that they (her children) are his new family and he is to move in with them. The only saving grace is that I still have custody. So the fight goes on and on and on and on and on Yawn!!! love and light to you all xxxx

  14. I want to thank you as a mental health professional residing in Missouri. I look forward to receiving training from your institute. Updates would be welcomed. Working with family court, as well as parents stuck in this battle for ongoing connection with their children,continues to drive my work and calling as a therapist. Your publications have proved a tremendous asset for myself in providing an evidence based approach to this problem.

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